Bring on the Trumpets!
by KillforKlondike
Summary: This is the reason Sideswipe and Sunstreaker should not be allowed to be anywhere near a TV. Especially when its playing a certain ad...*Now a collection of pretty much a war of pranks.
1. Inspiration and Ratchet

I decided that since it's been a while since I wrote something funny I should watch something on YouTube and incorporate into a story. I watched an ad for The Natural Confectionary Co. and earlier at supper my little cousin Gabe got a transformers toy. And who among the transformers are known for their pranks? Answer is: the twins.

* * *

"Sides, I'm bored." Sunstreaker said as he lay across the floor of the autobot base. This was the humans' area where there was a few basic human necessities like a fridge, a few human sized rooms, and of course a TV and some chairs. Sam was currently watching something while Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had to stay out of Rachet and the other autobots' way. They were in trouble for a certain incident involving silly putty, a few of Rachet's tools, and Ironhide's favorite blaster.

Sideswipe sat up from his positon on the floor a little ways away and looked at his twin. "I know. But if we do anything Optimus is going to have our processors on a disk." Sam turned up the TV and the ad that was playing caught Sunstreaker's optic. There was a yellow jelly-like snake sitting in the screen talking about natural flavors. And out of nowhere appeared a jelly-bear and that would loudly say 'Bring on the trumpets!' after everything that the snake did or did not say. And so one little human advertisement set off both of the twin's plotting gears.

About fifteen minutes after the earlier situation, the lambo twins walked into Ratchet's room. Ratchet scowled at the two who were smiling in a way that obviously said they were up to something. "And what are you two grinning about? If you get anywhere near my tools again I will fry **all** of your circuits." The twins looked at each other and together: "Bring on the trumpets!"

"What? What does this have to do with trumpets?" Again: "Bring on the trumpets!" Ratchet glared at them and mumbled something. Which in turn the twins answered to again. "Bring on the trumpets!" And it is at this point that Ratchet loses his cool. "What the slag is wrong with you idiots!" "Bring on the trumpets!" Ratchet stayed quiet and turned away, hoping in his spark that they would just leave. "Bring on the trumpets!" Ratchet swung around. "GET OUT YOU FRAGGING LUNATICS!" They ran out the doorway, cackling as they went, which sparked Ratchet into action. "I'M GOING TO SLAG YOU ALL!"….

"**TRUMPETS**!"

* * *

Did I have fun? **YES**. Is it short. **YES**. But was it worth it? **YES**.


	2. Vengeance

This is the second part of the story. This is proof that revenge is more than just sweet. It's satisfying. It's after midnight and I have a strange way of dealing with my insomnia. Cookies to the people that get the little movie insert.

**Disclaimer**: If I owned Transformers I would live in Tahiti, eat drink and sleep money, and never have to worry about whether or not I can afford this pair of shoes.

* * *

"Those stupid little glitches. I should've disassembled them a long time ago." Ratchet ranted to himself as he made his way back to his room after his hour and a half chase. Sideways and Sunstreaker had just barely escaped him this time. And they had gone and hid behind Bumblebee of all people. How that was supposed to help he would never know.

As he passed the weapons room he heard Ironhide making an odd ruckus. Curious, he looked inside. Ironhide was doing his best to clean his blaster that Sam had dubbed 'Big Baby' which was a reference to some movie or other that he seemed interested in. "Those pieces of scrap are going to be terminated the next time they do anything, no matter what Prime has to say about it." Ratchet's optics widened as he was graced with a plan that would set the twins straight. "Ironhide, what would you do if I said we could get those idiots back?" Ironhide looked down at Big Baby and back at him. "What do you have in mind?"

After several hours of first researching, getting the necessary items, and setting up, it was finally ready. Ratchet and Ironhide were ready for retribution. Throughout the day Sunstreaker and Sideswipe bothered Ratchet and Ironhide and got no response. No anger, no annoyance, not one yell. Ironhide didn't even grumble when Sunstreaker knocked Big Baby off of her perch. "Do you think they finally snapped?" Sideswipe asked Sunstreaker as they walked away from Ratchet's med bay after switching all his tools around. "No. I think they finally have admitted that there is nothing they can do to stop us!" Sunstreaker said as he grinned. Oh how wrong he was.

Now like all other machines the transformers had to have times when they recharged. And that is when medic and weapons specialist had been planning their attack. In this case it was currently 12:38 p.m. in human standards and the twins were off-line on the floor of the humans' sector. Why they were there no one knows. Ratchet cut off their brakes and set their car modes in neutral. Ratchet and Ironhideproceeded then to gently push them out into the open and made sure that they didn't notice a thing when they poured the bird seed, bread and adhesive all over them. For a little extra ratchet inserted a horn chip that played a clip of 'La cucaracha' to Sideswipe's rear brake and one that played 'Barbie girl' on Sunstreaker. Now to sit and wait.

At exactly 7:19 a.m. is when the first performance of 'Barbie Girl went off. Followed by shrieks that came from Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, and the various birds that had gotten stuck to them when going for food. Sam and Michaela hid behind Optimus Prime as they laughed at the two unfortunate tricksters. Ironhide and Ratchet were smiling as they watched them desperately try to get the birds off but every time they hit the brakes after going a ways the horns would go off. This would then send the birds into a mass of frenzied feathers and screams. Ironhide's favorite part was when a large seagull that was stuck to Sunstreaker 'leaked' on him.

Together Ironhide and Ratchet agreed on a simple human phrase: Revenge _was _indeed sweet.

* * *

Okay I just had a revelation: why did I put Sam and Michaela into the Transformers/Beast Wars area? Eh, I don't feel like changing it. Enjoy anyway!


	3. Revenge: Double Edged Sword

**Disclaimer**: I don't own crap.

* * *

It had been quiet for a while at the Autobot base after Ratchet and Ironhide's revenge on the twins. Almost five days to be precise. And everyone knew that it would happen sooner or later. Revenge is a double edged sword. And this time, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had help.

Sam jumped when he turned around to see two mechs grinning (he assumed they were grinning) down at him. Sideswipe crouched to Sam's height so he could keep his vocals down. "Sam, could you do us a favor? We've got a list of some things we'd need for a little…oh hell, **payback**." Next to him Sunstreaker lowered his hand and in it was a piece of paper with a list of items. Sam looked over the sheet and looked back up at the two. "You need _these_? Sure, fine. How much do you need?"

Sam came back with Bumblebee about an hour later and chewed out Sideswipe and Sunstreaker for the looks he'd gotten at the store. He handed over the goods and walked away, cleaning his hands of the mess that he saw coming. He got back inside Bumblebee and tapped the steering wheel. "Come on Bee, let's get outta here before Ratchet figures out who got them all of that stuff." Bee, remembering what Ratchet was capable of when truly angry, peeled out and once they got back to the house he parked inside the garage and shut off his headlights. Bee already knew the first step to surviving a Ratch attack. Lay low and keep out of the war zone.

"Come on Sides, they only need to be in the there for a few seconds. Dip 'em in, take 'em out and peel 'em. Yes! I can't wait to see what happens when they wake up. Who do thinks' gonna freak out worst? I'd bet energon on it being Ratchet." Sideswipe turned away from the liquid nitrogen and looked at his brother. "Nah, it'll be Ironhide. Ratchet is a terror, but Ironhide's got the guns. Not that he'll be able to use them by the time we're done."

No one understood why the temperature in the base had been turned up over that certain period of time. Why the time coincided with when Ratchet and Ironhide had both decided to sleep never dawned on anyone. Until they stumbled upon the mess. Like Sidesipe and Sunstreaker the medic and weapons specialist slept in their vehicle modes. Which meant that like normal, human cars, the once frozen shaving cream that had been stuffed inside of them was now very well into the interior and foaming out of any possible seams. The brothers had decided to play Ratchet and Ironhide's game by using human methods of revenge. One very well known one was where you froze shaving cream and stripped the metal can away so that when the shaving cream defrosted it would expand. Everywhere. And for added fun the two had poured gummy worms all over so that every few inches you could see a multicolored worm sticking out of the white fluffy mass.

* * *

In his room Sam felt a quake and he fell out of his bed, sending Mojo flying across the room onto the desk. "Oh God, oh _God_, oh **God**!" He went to shut his curtains but before he could close the last one a bright light shone through the window. "Sam, you wouldn't happened to have given Sideswipe and Sunstreaker _shaving cream _lately?" Ratchet's somewhat covered eye was glaring (again he had to guess, but at least this time the voice said something of the mood) and he laughed nervously. "Um…no Ratchet I don't remember giving them shaving cream. Come on, what would they shave?" Ironhide appeared next to Ratchet's head. "Give up and I won't destroy you and the rodent." Sam looked over at Mojo and considered running. "Aren't you going to kill me anyway?"

"Clean this up and you live boy."

"That rings oddly of Megatron, Ratchet."

* * *

Meanwhile, Bumblebee made a silent salute to Sam.

I'll protect you from the decepticon army, I'll go through human-inflicted torture, and I'll even take on Megatron.

But no way in Heaven, Hell or Cybertron was he taking on Ratchet.

* * *

I loved that last part. I decided to make one more chapter for this just so Sunstreaker and Sideswipe could get the last prank in. And what's a story without a little _Mojo_ in it?


	4. New Players

**Disclaimer****:** I don't own crap.

Okay, on my way to Florida and I'm listening to all the songs that have accumulated on my laptop. Trust me to have a bunch of random songs that remind me of the twins vs. everybody else. Currently listening to: Spectacular, Spectacular and Walkie Talkie Man on repeat. Need coffee. _**Now**_.

* * *

Target is in sight. We're moving in.

Sunstreaker was 'hiding' behind a pile of military boxes that had accumulated in the Autobot base. Likewise Sideswipe was hiding behind another of these piles to Sun's right. Their target this time around? Bumblebee.

Bumblebee was currently standing behind where Sam was sitting. And sulking. "Stupid Ratchet. Come on, how was I supposed to know…okay so I did kinda know what they were going to do with the stuff, but that's beside the point! I got pulled into this by them! And why the hell didn't you do something Bee?!"

Before Bee could try to explain the brothers pounced on him. The three went tumbling and knocked over most of the piles of boxes , some of which cracked open and sent various items flying. So when Optimus Prime came through the doorway he was able to glimpse the strange mech-ball accompanied by walkie talkies go flying by. And unfortunately for him said mech-ball changed direction. _**His**_direction. In his defense, Optimus did try to run; he really did. But since Earth has a wonderful scientific term for this force called momentum, they caught up and there was now a new addition to the great mass of rolling metal. Though they didn't get too much further. It is noted that the Autobot base has very heavy duty walls. Although they're supposed to be that way for Decepticons, they work well against the twins as well. I'm sure that was what Ratchet was thinking too.

Ratchet had 'determined the damage to Optimus and Bumblebee was worse', so they were the ones being treated first. Everyone knew that was a load of scrap. Ratchet was going to wait until Optimus was gone so that he could tear into the instigators. And Primus knew that Optimus wasn't going to stop him this time.

**Troublemaker rule #1**: Don't prank the boss unless you want to die.

* * *

The pair had both tried to sneak out when Ratchet wasn't looking, but since he seemed to have optics in the back of his head, he knew before they'd gotten very far. And the thought of shooting themselves in the foot like in Family Guy was soon thrown out since that would only result in them being in the med bay longer. Damn you television; you make it look so easy!

While the twins were in the med bay with Ratchet, it looked like Bumblebee and Optimus Prime were having a simple talk. Until you got closer. That would be about when you'd notice that they were talking about human firework. And about five minutes after they finished their scheme, Sam was drawn into another prank again. "No. I'm not going to be a prank dealer. Not unless you people start paying me, cause if I ever have to clean one of you guys out again I will go psycho-killer on someone. Do you know how hard it was to clean Ironhide?! And I forever can't eat gummy worms again." And yet here he was in a fireworks store buying as many of the higher grade explosives as he could without looking like he was the next high school bomber.

Optimus and Bumblebee were now on the roof of the base and were waiting for Ratchet to get the brothers to come outside. All of the other pranks had been done when the victims were in recharge. Time to raise the bar a little. And as promised, from below they heard Ratchet coming along with Ironhide and they were talking about a new training exercise. Good excuse. Apparently Sam had told Michaela about the prank because she was now on the roof too…with a video camera. Perfect, they'll have documentation of the incident.

"Come on you two. Seeing as you don't seem to be very coordinated, we're going to do some dodging practice. Now go stand out there and we'll begin." Sunstreaker and Sideswipe weren't convinced by Ironhide and looked over at where Ratchet and Sam were standing. Ratchet was doing very well at pretending not to be giddy at the thought of what was about to happen, but Sam was beginning to smirk. But since the twins had always thought of Sam being a little 'off' they ignored it. Pity them Primus, they know not what kind of scrap they step into.

They went outside the doors of the base and stood where Ironhide had pointed to. A place that was just below where Optimus, Bumblebee and Michaela were. Optimus and Bee started to light the fuses as Michaela focused in on Sunstreaker especially. She was betting on the fireworks taking off bits of his paintjob. Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the vainest bot of them all? Sunstreaker.

"Hey Sunny, do feel this funny tingling feeling too?" Sideswipe whispered to Sunstreaker. "Yeah. It's like…something isn't right with the world. Oh Primus, I'm not the prettiest anymore am I?!" Before Sideswipe could smack Sunstreaker upside the head like he wanted, the first of many fireworks began to rain down on them. Flashes of any color imaginable and explosions were all around them, which resulted in two things. Sunstreaker screaming like a little human girl and the both of them running for cover. Too bad for them that Ironhide and Ratchet had closed the doors so they couldn't enter the base. But thankfully for the ones inside there were windows so they could still watch the fun.

At first Optimus and Bee started with the 'smaller' fireworks and loaded them into their cannons. Which meant that not only did the twins risk being blown up, they also might get hit with an explosive at least 80mph of force. And the two mechs on the roof were very much trying to hit the two below. And Michaela was enjoying the show along with trying to think of a way to sell the video. Maybe say it was all computer generated?

And now for the big boys. Sam had only been able to buy two of these because of certain laws, and that made them all the better. Especially after Ironhide had tinkered with them to give them a little more of a bang. Optimus had almost had to pry Ironhide away from them because he 'wanted to keep one of the kids'. The Autobot commander was passively worried about his weapons specialist. Get the mech checked out later; he was going to blow up a couple of idiots first.

Optimus and Bee lit both and chucked them at Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Sideswipe was lucky since he had taken a dive to get out of the way. When that one went off it blew a hole in the ground with a five foot radius. Sunstreaker was not so lucky. He had turned to run…which meant it hit him directly in the aft. From inside the base came loud hoots of laughter which came mostly from Ironhide, although if you looked closely you could see Ratchet chuckling.

Sunstreaker bawled. But only the first hour was because of the pain. The next eight were spent crying over the fact that there was now a lovely dent and paint missing, not scratched, _**missing**_ from his rear end.

**Troublemaker rule #1**: Don't prank the boss unless you want to die…or worse.

* * *

Okay, I've been waiting all day to post this and getting angry with my computer when it says there is excellent service but I can't connect to this.


	5. This is Not Over

I've been neglecting this story so I decided to try and write something for it.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own crap.

* * *

Everyone had gotten their revenge. Except for Sunstreaker and Sideswipe. Everyone else was moving in on their pranking gig. And they didn't like it. Time to reassure everyone why _**they **_were Lords of the Prank.

Early in the morning the two slipped off base and went to gather everything they thought might work with what they had in mind. Everyone was going to pay for their crimes against them. Or at least that's how they had described it. And all it would take was to get them into one room.

Still very early they went into the training room and set up the fake ceiling. It would look exactly like the normal one except that there was a chain in the very center of it. Of course this was the trigger for the trap.

Now all they needed to do was wait and stay away from the area. This meant that they had taken off before dawn and headed towards Austin, Texas. Why Austin you say? Easy: a big town is easier to hide in.

Ironhide was the first to find the note they had left on the door to the training room. He called the others and let Optimus be the one to read the letter just in case it had some kind of explosive in it.

_Dear friends, _

_We decided that since lately we've been rather bad we would leave a present for everyone. _

_This is just our way of saying that we're sorry for the pranks that we pulled on you._

_We'll be back in a little while. We went to get some more oil since we ran out last night._

_Love, the twins._

Ratchet, Bumblebee, Ironhide and Optimus looked between themselves, not sure exactly what to say at first about the strange turn of events. Of course one person had something to say almost instantly.

"It's a trap. I just know it." Ironhide said as Optimus finished reading it out loud. "I don't know. Maybe they really do feel bad. They've taken a beating over the last few weeks." Prime reprimanded 'Hide softly. Ratchet and Ironhide exchanged glances behind their leader's back.

Slowly they entered the room with Sam and Michaela following close behind. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had left messages on their voicemails to come saying that the Autobots had a surprise for them.

They saw a large sign just below the rope that hung down from the ceiling that said please pull. But that wasn't exactly the focal point of the area. The entire ceiling was blocked out by thousands upon thousands of multicolored balloons that all said the same thing: We're Sorry.

Sam and Michaela looked up at Ratchet and he caught them staring. "What are you two looking at?" They looked at the rope and then back to him. "So…what are you going to do?" He looked down at them and then to Optimus. "They have a point. What _are _we going to do?" Optimus, being the leader, felt that this was the time for him to set an example for his troops. "We're going to trust them."

With that simple statement he walked to the rope and then pulled it down.

Two things happed then. One: They heard something click and then the door that they had come in through slammed shut and locked. Two: The fake ceiling that the twins had so carefully hidden came crashing down and was followed by a downpour of neon yellow paint and rainbow craft feathers.

From outside Arcee, Jolt and Jetfire heard yelling and screaming. They raced to the door and overrode the locking command. They were unprepared for the scene of the crime that was waiting for them.

All of the people who had been locked inside were now covered from top to bottom with headache-inducing yellow paint and a ridiculous array of peacock feathers.

Needless to say the bots that weren't involved in the prank began to laugh until their processers began to get fuzzy and knocked them on their afts.

And the ones that were involved scowled at the others until Sam got a bright idea. He scooped up a puddle of paint and feathers and splattered the three with it. After which Michaela, Ratchet, Ironhide and even Optimus followed suit until the three were completely covered as well.

Now everyone had a score to settle with the two Lamborghinis. Too bad that they were nowhere to be found. Also too bad that they had disengaged their tracking devices.

* * *

It was weeks before the twins were found in Sydney, Australia. They had evaded them since they knew they had been found in Austin and had since moved through St. Cloud, Minnesota and then down to Gisbourne, New Zealand. Even after they cornered them the two tried to get away by splitting.

Luck had not been with them.

Their captors had decided not to take their revenge on them right away. Better to let them worry about when and where their punishment would be designated. But for right now the rest of the Autobots were letting them stew in their own mess.

For revenge is most definitely a dish served so very cold.

* * *

So what do you think? Happy I finally stopped procrastinating and started to write this again? Please tell me what you think.


	6. La Vie En Rose

Been **really **long since I updated this so I thought I would try to get back to it.

I've been feeling kind of down lately so I haven't been in the mood to write anything but I'm starting to get a little better. And my birthday is coming and we're possibly going to a college football game the day before. Things are definitely looking up!

P.S. If you like these kinds of stories you should check out Karaoke Night by Jesus Luvs Everyone and Down By the Bay by Zaerith-Chan.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own crap.

* * *

This was taking too long. Ratchet and Ironhide were getting itchy for some good old fashioned revenge. Ratchet: Dismemberment. Ironhide: Target practice. But Bumblebee was the one to give them some advice. Fight guns with guns. Fight fists with fists. Fight pranks with a better prank. And once they scoured the internet for several hours, they were very ready. They informed Sam and Michaela of what they would need for their new battle plan. The two humans agreed to do it on two conditions: they get to watch and take pictures. Possibly sell said pictures.

Optimus had no idea what he was being commed for. It was Primus-only-knew early and he had been happily recharging with images of him and Elita One alone on an island when Ratchet's voice interrupted. Why were they on an island? Who cares, at least they were alone. He stopped in the Rec. room and took a good long look at the people inside. Ratchet, Ironhide, Sam, Bumblebee, and Michaela were all inside. Most notable and disturbing were the evil grins that Ratchet and Ironhide were sporting. You know the ones. The smiles you only see in horror films like The Shining as Jack hacks through the door with an axe. That kind of smile.

"What are you doing?" Optimus asked as he walked further into the room. Sam stood from his sitting on the massive Autobot-sized table. "Ironhide and Ratchet called us about what they wanted to about the twins. We just wanted to know if you'd wanted a swing at this. Horrible pun intended for a later understanding.

Earth time it was 9:30am. The twins had slept late for the fact that they'd been trying to have a guard duty going at all times, but this particular night they'd slipped and both had fallen asleep. Something that Ratchet had noticed and been watching for the past three nights. All waiting for something like this to happen.

**

* * *

**

Checklist:

Four pairs of cuffs: Check

Colored paper: Check

Glue: Check

Cable: Check

Camera: Check

Ready for plan execution.

* * *

While Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had been deep in recharge, Ratchet slipped in and, with his Jedi-like knowledge, shut down their sensory cables so they wouldn't feel a thing. Yet.

A few hours and a lot of glue and paper getting everywhere imaginable (don't try too hard to visualize that); they were done and ready for the master medic to bring the poor mechs online. As a small mercy he only returned their sensed enough that they would be fully conscious but they wouldn't exactly feel pain. Proof that even though it was distorted, dimly lit, and had an odd and slightly moldy smell, Ratchet did indeed had a spark.

* * *

Slowly but surely Sideswipe's optics came online. He shifted; trying to get comfy to go back to recharge, but something was restricting his arms. And his legs. And something felt strange and…sticky? The berth isn't sticky. Oh Primus. Jerking his optics open, Sideswipe scanned the surrounding area. Sam and Michaela were directly in front of his face and smiling. Never good, not even on a holiday. At least with not those kinds of Freddy vs. Jason smiles.

Sam and Michaela said nothing. They didn't have to. Not when a mirror could show so much more. And what, with his little optic, did he spy? A piñata. A **big** piñata. Make that two Autobot-sized piñatas, one looking like a rainbow and the other peacock. Guess who the peacock was. How they managed it he didn't know, but despite also being covered in paper, Sideswipe laughed at the sight of his vain twin. Which woke Sunstreaker up. And after also looking in the mirror, he shrieked like a banshee and tried to get the paper off.

* * *

Now neither twin was happy. And they should've realized that this was going to happen too. Dangling from the ceiling was not their only punishment. A piñata was meant to be wacked. Optimus had called first dibs, seeing as he was the one who had stood up for them before being a victim of their last prank. Ironhide had called seconds. And their weapon of choice? Of course, them being alien robots, a simple blunt object wouldn't be sufficient. They settled for a metal beam.

Sunstreaker had given up on struggling and was now begging to be put down.

Sideswipe was playing a mantra on repeat. _La vie en rose, la vie en rose, la vie en rose…_

Unfortunately his rose-colored glasses were about to be smashed.


	7. Omnipotent

Sorry it took so long to get this done. Can you believe I started on this chapter BEFORE HALLOWEEN?!

And here is why it's taken me forever:

I got sick.

I procrastinated.

I managed to get the computer's version of crabs.

I procrastinated again (for a very long time).

So, without further delay, here is everyone's last minute present!

**HAPPY (BELATED) HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF MY READERS!**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own crap.

* * *

All was quiet on the western front of the Autobot base.

But silence was not always golden.

Unlike a certain Lamborghini brother. Considering that he and his brother were now sitting in a dark room and snickering to themselves, you could certainly start placing bets on the fact that this was gonna be bad.

But also strangely entertaining, if you liked that kind of thing.

Otherwise it was _all_ gonna be bad.

**List**:

_Water_

_Air conditioning_

_Loose paper_

_Glitter_

_Several bottles of Gorilla Glue_

_Alibi with 'witnesses' to back up said alibi_

They had everything they would need. And though he'd done nothing so far, except for maybe throw them in the brig for some small misconduct like blowing up a trash can or three, Prowl was their main target.

"Alright, you take the right and I'll go left. Rendezvous back in the Rec. room for a cube of energon and then we're off to Fiji."

"Well spoken my fine yellow counterpart."

* * *

Prowl wasn't all that surprised when Jolt had given him the heads up on the twins. Sooner or later he had known they would get cyberants in their afts to play one of their tricks on him. But they'd been stationed with him before, and they would just have to face the consequences of their actions.

Again and again and again until he managed to pound it into their servos that he was not to be trifled with.

With that thought he sat down with a warm canister of oil to do some work Prime had asked him to do.

* * *

The two watched from their vantage point above the target.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. It was a great idea to go through the vents. Who knew Sam's spy movies were useful?"

"Humans may not have guns built in, but at least they're not completely worthless."

"Time to carry out operation 'Princess Prowl'."

"Whose idea was it to name it that?"

"Arcee, I believe."

"How did she find out?"

"You should know this by now. Femmes are omnipotent."

* * *

Prowl glanced up at the vent grate and smirked as he sighted flashes of yellow and red. Stupid fools. Did they really think he wasn't fully aware of the vents.

Or perhaps they had overlooked the spy cams he had installed inside of the vents near his office and his quarters. More than likely it was a mixture of both.

Time to have a little fun with them.

* * *

As the twins were discussing their views on humans and femes, they missed the three little metal spheres rolling down the vent shaft towards them.

"I'm just saying if this Angelina Jolie was really all that she would've-"

"Wait, shut up for a second….do you hear that?"

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker looked behind them as the objects came to rest at their feet. One by one they activated, glowing an eerie lime-green color.

"Are those what I think those are?" Sunny deadpanned.

"…So how bad do you think Prowl's gonna get us?"

With that the spheres exploded in a puff of green slime.

The jolt of the mini explosion brought the portion of vent crashing down…in Prowl's office, where said bot was lounging at his desk with a smirk on his faceplates.

* * *

"Hello gentlebots. Let's skip the part where you try to explain why you were crawling around in the vents, which were _**off limits**_ to everyone, and get straight to where I tell you your punishment, shall we?" Prowl said happily.

The brothers, still covered in the slime, which had now hardened into somewhat of a glue product, groaned. They'd known it. Prowl really was evil.

But they had this discussion earlier.

**Lesson**: Femmes **and** Prowl are omnipotent. There is nothing you can do about it.

* * *

Sorry it has taken me SO long to do this. My idea bunnie have all flown the coop and just now while I was watching the G.I. Joe movie I got for Christmas I remembered I hadn't posted this yet.

So here it is.

Considering my record for forgeting it's good I'm only a day late of when I was going to put it up.


	8. End All To Win All

Hi everyone! I really don't have any other excuse for why I haven't made another chapter for this till now except for the fact that I ran out of ideas. But since I'm writing another story I'm actually in the mood to write.

Sadly, this is the final post for this series. I really don't know if I could out do what I'm about to write.

Perhaps one last revenge prank but nowhere near as bad as this.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own crap.

* * *

A masterpiece.

That is all Sideswipe could think to call it.

A prank to end all pranks if there ever was one.

And for the brothers, this might just be their grand finale. But only because they doubted anyone would be able to stop Ratchet from offlining them this time.

That mech could throw a hissy fit like it was nobody's business.

Prowl, Ratchet and the Lamborghini twins had been left alone at the base when the others had gone to a meeting with Secretary Defense Keller.

Why? Basically, since the last time Keller had come to visit the Twins had decided to say 'Hi' by making the man fall into a vat full of whipped cream, Prime had decided that it was better for his own sanity and Keller's physical and mental health. Where exactly they had found several gallons of the stuff was as of yet unknown, but was being looked into by Prowl.

* * *

Two shadows could be seen making their way through the halls, but everyone that would've been around regularly was at the meeting. Giving the two near identical troublemakers almost complete control over the base. At least that was what they thought. No way would they be dumb enough to let on what they were planning to their makeshift jailers.

They silently crept through the base, avoiding the strategically placed cameras that had been set up for this very babysitting/surveillance confinement and found their targets. Prowl would have to be the first to be taken out. He knew everything, always had something ready to counteract their pranks, and basically pwned them every chance he got when it came to their master plans. Ratchet would come second, and then their escape plan would be put into action. As of lately they had been perfect angels. Which they knew would set the older two bots on edge. But even though they had done everything to catch a hint of what their plans were, they had thus far come up empty handed.

Prowl had been a hard one to crack, but eventually, after bribing several of their fellow bots, they figured out the schedule that the second in command had planned out and had decided to approach him when he was in recharge. Ratchet was a different story. But instead of letting on any secrets to any of the other Autobots, they had kept those details silent. This worried the medic to no end. Prowl and Ratchet had their suspicions, but it seemed as though the Lamborghini twins had done their homework this time.

The red brother hacked the several encrypted codes that were Prow's security lock for his quarters, while his yellow counterpart was preparing the necessary ingredients and stirring them slowly. "Do you think we're really going to get away with this?" Looking back at the yellow one, Sideswipe could only shrug. "Primus only knows the answer to that one."

And with one last click they crept into the lair that was Prowl's room. Half an hour later, after completing the deed, they carefully their task, they saved the rest that they hadn't used and moved on to the medic's quarters. He wasn't in recharge at the moment, but they might as well not waste the concoction they had mixed up. Leaving behind the Autobot-sized bucket, they moved on to the second part of the project. Mission identification code: 88367AI. Also known as: Operation End All Win All.

Ratchet set at his work desk, tinkering with damaged parts that could hopefully be repaired and stored for later use. He was relaxed for once, enjoying the silence and the simple but physical work. It was times like these, when he could be alone to think, that he found his peace. And right on time, two blurs of yellow and red streaked in, bursting through the med bay doors like a bomb went off. Before he could react the twins had tackled him out of his chair and onto the floor. He couldn't move as Sideswipe flipped the switch on his consciousness, waving goodbye and his optic sensors and other senses shut down into stasis lock.

"We are so offlined when they wake up."

"Yeah, but it was well worth it."

"Too true. So how are we getting there again?"

"I'll explain when we get to the border. Now shut up or you'll wake Prowl."

* * *

As set on their internal timers, Prowl and Ratchet woke slowly at the designated time. Ratchet, whose senses came online faster than Prowl's, instantly knew something with what his internal readings was wrong. Something felt…different. Prowl, hearing noise below him, groggily came online, only to notice a drastic change in his surroundings than when he first went into recharge. One: he was now in the Rec. Room. Two: He was covered in some super sticky glue-like substance. Three: He was now attached to the ceiling, and all his functioning joints were locked into place by the goo.

Ratchet, who was _bolted down to the floor_ _just below him_,was glaring up at the second in command. "You said you'd watch them." Was all the medic had to say for Prowl to know that if and when Ratchet was loose, he would be one of the first who would be a victim to the medic's wrath. But hopefully the twins would bear the brunt of his anger before he got back around to the S.I.C.

As well as what had been done to them physically, the two could see from their vantage points that the twins had gone on a field day with redecorating the Rec. Room and out into the halls. Walls were repainted in garish colors and some dirty limericks had been doodled in as well. The floor was carpeted, which had not been noticed until now, with a princess-themed pattern. Crowns, unicorns, and castles galore as far as the optic could see. In silence the two seethed. And quivered in agony.

The rest of the Autobots wouldn't be back for three days.

* * *

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe rested at a pit stop on their way to the hiding place. Eventually they would get caught and severely punished, but for now they were going to enjoy their last few stellar cycles on this big ball of dirt. They were going to Disney World dammit.

* * *

I hope everyone like it! Like I said, there might be one last revenge chapter, but I kind of like it the way it is. Thanks for sticking with this for as long as it's taken me to finish!


End file.
